Intent does not erase impact.
Do you know when someone does something that hurts you and they say “I didn’t mean to”, no mentions of an apology just that they didn’t intend to?
It shows that they don’t care to apologise or focus on how it affected you because their intentions matter more than the outcome of the offence.
Impact is far more greater than intent. Intentions are important because we can think we’re doing our best but in reality it’s not having a great impact on the situation. That’s why you get the saying “it’s the thought that counts”.
It’s so much more progressive when we listen to understand, reflect, apologise and do better. I think people are capable but it’s the willingness that’s in question.
Absolving ourselves of wrongdoing can do further impact than the initial situation itself. It leads to question whether you’re actually empathetic or value the relationship you have with the other person involved.
I’ve learned that you can have a perspective of someone and be surprised when you hear other people’s perspectives. This tends to happen a lot when someone you thought you knew enough does/says something immoral.
People will tend to say “that’s not what they meant, I know them” and all these other things to vouch for them.
However, what they don’t understand is that others don’t know them within the same context they do. People exist and experience different things outside of friendships, relationships, the workplace etc. This is why sometimes you need to tread carefully when you’re vouching for people.
It’s better to ascertain the truth of the matter and acknowledge their wrongdoings.